17:43 05/07/04
Travelling back from work after a less frustrating day than usual. Still far from ideal. I guess this is why people have hobbies - to take their mind off things.

I've been thinking about learning to fly again. If I had a things to do before I die list, flying would be number 1. Also build a house, though that is going to be much tougher. Then also on that list would be visit New Zealand, Nova Scotia, ski, visit the Pyramids, walk somewhere on Antarctica, climb a mountain in South America, have some kids. On kids, I'm stuck between the sensible 2 or the idea of one of each, which is anywhere between 2 and 8 depending how you count them. The point 4 might be the tougher challenge.

Is this a mid life crisis? It can't be, I'm not in a crisis and nor is it the middle of my life yet, unless I die aged 68 and five eighths.

One thing is blindingly clear. Work is not good for me. It's boring, stressful, unfulfilling and not what I want to do. I think I felt this way when I quit accounts aged 20. I know with any job there are boring parts, but these are often the foundation of more interesting tasks. The only thing I do like about this job is the materials science side - learning how different things act and can be used together.

So what now? More likely I'll carry on a slightly self destructive course, though I may just manage to enroll myself in the possibility of changing my life. I think I do need to.